Penciled hearts in class

This is to you. You know who you are. I don’t even know if you care enough to look here, but let’s say you do….I just have a few words for you.

I’m not mad…I’m just hurt. You don’t have to shut me out, all I want is a little talk to explain things.

But if it’s easier for you, if it helps you get through the day, then it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I always end up fine anyways. I’m not the one you need to focus on now anyways.

So go, and do what you must. If you come back and if I’m still here then that’s great. Just remember that I’m always here to talk. I’ve always tried and tell you that but I feel as if you’ve forgotten……

So madly in love. How perfectly their arrangement of events fell into place. Two people that spark with life when close.

I see them…and it shatters me. They remind me so greatly of what I am without. Watching fills me with such joy and pain that I feel the cracks forming inside of me, the blood pulsing and the scream building behind my lips.

Because once again, I am without.

“I am within, but without”
-the great gatsby

You’re not saving me any trouble. Just be honest. That’s all you can don

That when a heart shatters
The shards are still jagged and sharp.

When trying to reassemble and salvage the pieces and splinters

Flesh is torn and blood is shed

No one said putting the pieces together again would be easy

Because the pain lingers and overcoming it takes strength

I wish I was stronger

And I can’t help but spend my time counting the days until I see you again

Life is dull

Yep, I knew this was going to happen….and I could have stopped it, but there’s no turning back now.

You’ve made me this way.
And I let myself feel this way.

I need….

and I hope I’m not sounding too desperate

and I know that no one is going to catch me. I didn’t bring a parachute or anything to save myself. It’s as if I am not worried about the outcome, but more that I am focused on how the journey feels. 

I don’t care if I fall. I just want to feel that rush again. And if I end up hitting the ground and not being able to walk away from it again, then that is my own doing. 

you feel like you can’t compete. you question why you even put up with all the stress, the emotional exhaustion, and the confusion. why not just avoid the stress? It would be easier right now. 

But that shouldn’t stop you. You have the courage and the power to keep going, to get past this. In the long run, you will be thankful that you kept going instead of quitting too soon.