Office by Alex Penny
im carmela. i try to live life to the fullest and make every day worth living. its just me and here are my thoughts, works, and feelings. I also post things i find inspirational, beautiful, or just neat :) I can be very emotional, because im just an emotional creature. im trying to be more like myself and take risks in life. hope you enjoy.
Things I like: Huge chunky ugly retro sweaters. Large Buttons and horizontal stripes on cardigans. Acoustic music. Guitar solos. Key changes in music. Getting love letters. Sticking my hand out a car window as its moving. Movie marathons. The smell of mint and lemon. Jokes that make me laugh so hard I cry. The taste of vanilla. Interesting people. Listening to a good story. Daisies. Dandelions (yellow and puffy kind). Gazing at stars. Dancing around while no one and everyone are watching. Sticking glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. Christmas lights. Warms rain on summer days. British accents. The feeling of pine needles and fresh mown grass on my bare feet and finger tips. Rocking out in the car. Rain. Downpours. Remembering a funny memory and laughing about it randomly. Counting the seconds between lightning and thunder during a storm. Autumn. Tea on a chilly morning. Swimming in the ocean with fish. Kisses on the forehead. Old watches and clocks. Getting a kiss when I least expect it. Hugs from behind. Collecting shells on the shore. Watching clouds. Meeting new people! The Beatles. The Doors. Billie Holiday. Jazz music. Photography. Water colors. Charcoal. Sketching. Paper cranes. Writing down all my feelings at once. Swings. Dew on the grass in the morning. Art galleries and museums. Traveling. Books books books. Food. Holding hands. Classic Vinyl. Rock. Love stories. Wind in my hair. Smell of new books. Learning a whole rap by heart. Poetry. Floral prints! Rings. Scarves. Combat boots. Topaz and Turquoise. Moleskines. Libraries. Learning to draw hands. Gardening. Adventures and exploring. Bird watching.
And I can’t help but spend my time counting the days until I see you again
Life is dull
Yep, I knew this was going to happen….and I could have stopped it, but there’s no turning back now.
You’ve made me this way.
And I let myself feel this way.
I need….
and I hope I’m not sounding too desperate
and I know that no one is going to catch me. I didn’t bring a parachute or anything to save myself. It’s as if I am not worried about the outcome, but more that I am focused on how the journey feels.
I don’t care if I fall. I just want to feel that rush again. And if I end up hitting the ground and not being able to walk away from it again, then that is my own doing.
you feel like you can’t compete. you question why you even put up with all the stress, the emotional exhaustion, and the confusion. why not just avoid the stress? It would be easier right now.
But that shouldn’t stop you. You have the courage and the power to keep going, to get past this. In the long run, you will be thankful that you kept going instead of quitting too soon.
Felt like dressing up so shoulder pads again 😁#obsessed #ootd
but it still stings
Maybe if i right it enough, i’ll believe it
the kind that knows they can easily win over the affections of any girl because of how charming and cute you can act. I admit the confidence helps too. But the thing with guys like that, they don’t settle for one when they can have it all.
what I’m trying to say is, I know why I never went after your type before, its because it’s hopeless and I walk away empty.
so might as well have as much fun as I can while it lasts ya know? because obviously you’re not going to slow down and smell the roses while I’m around. I don’t expect you to…..well I would be lying if I didn’t say it would be appreciated, but that’s out of my hands….like everything.
why do things have to always be out of my hands? oh right…its because it always takes two to tango.
no, this is all happening too fast. I promised myself I would be distant, that i would hide all emotion and not let people see that side of me anymore. the side that is so vulnerable. and here you come, out of the blue. i know you’re in for this for everything else minus the emotion, and i told myself i was okay with that. why be attached when that only leads to heartache and pain…..right? i don’t even know anymore because now i’m thinking about you more than i should. i linger too long on the memories of the few moments we’ve shared so far.
I have to stop. I have to detach, I have to break away from this.
